Tuesday, 19 October 2010


I went out for a few drinks with friends at the weekend. Mainly to celebrate my cousins daughters christening. Anyway, we ended up in this bar, a straight bar may I add, and I was quite happily stood there chatting to my friends and family and I clocked a guy from the other end of the bar staring at me. Now I like to think I'm quite a confident person, not arrogant and cocky, just confident in myself. However, I have a very bad habit of going bright red and very shy when people stare at me...or try to chat to me when I'm out.

Anyway, after a few drinks you break the seal...so I went for a piss, completely forgetting about this guy stood staring. So there I was stood at the urinal peeing away, when the door opens and this guy comes and stands right next to me...now I will admit I do like a bit of cottaging, but this completely threw me. Then I could feel it, the dreaded red face and nervousness coming on, especially when he started speaking to me...while I had cock in hand and was still pissing. Now I tend to be quite shy in general anyway when people come up and talk to me in clubs or bars, I don't know why, I just don't think I'm that attractive and there were plenty more better looking people than me in the club, so it just makes me retract in myself for some reason.

This guy was actually quite nice and real friendly...to be honest I did kind of gather that he just wanted my cock, hence him following me to the toilet, but I pushed that aside for a minute lol.

Anyway, the same night, my cousins friend came up to me and said that I was "too shy" when I was meeting new people and that it was "very endearing". This seemed reasonable, well the too shy bit did anyway. What confused me is the same person, not a day later, sent me a message on Facebook apologising for what she said and then proceeded to say that I was "too good looking" and that I "intimidated" people and that they were too scared to come up to me and chat cause they were afraid they'd get rejected. WTF?!

I think I'm a bit of a munter if I'm being perfectly honest, and I don't understand how someone can be "too good looking". I do get the intimidating bit though, cause if I see someone I think is hot, I daren't chat to them, cause the shyness kicks in again and I end up talking complete and utter shite, and making myself to look a right knob!

This is probably why I'm single and never really pull in the real world. Give me the internet and a mobile and I'm fine, I can talk the talk and all that shit...but put me in a social situation with a hot guy and I might as well crawl back under the cyber rock I came from. I never used to rely on the internet to meet people...and I feel like a bit of an idiot for doing so, but it seems its now the only way for me to meet people and stuff.

Oddly enough, I'm fine on porn shoots.

Thats my rant over for the night

On a lighter note, I've designed 3 more tattoos that i'm getting and also I've decided on how I want my hair done. So once the hair is done and the first of the three tatts i'll upload some new pics =D

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