Thursday, 7 July 2011

Rude awakening

After staying up till God knows what time last night painting my bedroom, I finally hit the sack. Nice nights sleep and caught up on the sleep I have been missing.

Now, it's important to know I sleep naked...and if on my own in the apartment I walk round naked to. So remember that bit.

I was rudely awoken this morning to the sound of a brash cockney female accent shouting (rather loudly and repeatedly) "Tell me what I've done! Tell me what I've fucking done!". This annyance prompted me to get up out of bed (nude still) and go to my bedroom window. I live on the top floor, so I looked out the window to see two police vans and about 7 police men stood at the house next-door to mine and a big crowd, this is where I assumed where the ruckus was coming from. I ignored it and went back to bed. The voice carried on shouting, so I decided to go look through my front room window, nothing. Bathroom window, nothing. Bedroom window, nothing...this was starting to do my head in now. I could not find the source of this voice for the life of me...

...then I went to the bathroom for a piss. Stood there pissing and I looked out my bedroom window, above the houses opposite me, to see a figure stood on the roof looking straight through my window. THAT was the source of the voice...this annoying short dumpy lesbian Harry Potter look-a-like!

And I spent about half an hour walking round looking down at the street not thinking to look up, everything on show, flapping in the breeze for this psycho dyke to gawk at... in true British tradition, I leant out the window and shouted "Jump you stupid cow!"

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